Why do some people take a long time to move on? Moving on from a run-of-the-mill romantic relationship may be a trifle for some. But, for some (mostly) others it could be a non-trivial thing. Why do I dare to say most even if there is no data?
Because I was once in a time when being a sad boy and sad girl was celebrated so much by young people. It is as if the struggle to rise from the aftermath of the collapse of relationships has become an integral part of their lives. Whether it’s a wreck or a lucky one, I’m part of most of it, too.
Yeah, I’ve also been a tough guy to move on. It took me about five years to really let go of my former girlfriend’s memories. Unfortunately, I haven’t known sad boys and sad girls in five years. If it already exists, I will become an activist or even run for a regional leader for sure. Fortunately, those five years have passed and now I am never bothered by the memories of the former girlfriend and the like.
Nevertheless, sometimes if you meet an old friend you still like to be asked “How come it takes so long to move on? Even though it’s been years and maybe she’s also forgotten”. I usually smile at that question, but sometimes it is also really chatted, depending on the motivation of the questioner.
My Reflection
If I reflect again now, there are some things that make it take me up to five years to move on. Do you think that it took me take a long time to move on? Let me explain why.
First, the plan that is already done
As a junior high school child, I plan to go to college where my girlfriend does look too far-fetched. Unfortunately, at that time I was really hoping and at the same time confident that it would actually happen.
Starting from where we want to continue high school until the goal of overseas campus we will aim to go to college together. This has been discussed seriously without ever thinking that the relationship will become extinct. For me, this contributes a considerable portion to the difficulty of the move-on process.
Secondly, have a lot of experience and common interests
Because we are equally active in organizations. At that time the base camp for all organizations in my school was mixed into one room. Of course, after breaking up there was still a common interest related to the organization.
There must still be friends who ask about personal relationships for pleasantries or just want to know. This is what makes the first year of moving on so hard for me. Even that year, we still had a need for a competition to represent the school organization.
Yeah, how can I not be sad, no more high school conversations let alone the university of destination?’
Third, surrounded by people from the past
Despite deciding to continue high school outside the city, I still had a close relationship with my junior high school alumni friends at that time. Most of them go to school with my ex-girlfriend, so I often meet them in person.
Someone just gave me an update on my ex-girlfriend without ever asking me. My friends also tell me that sometimes my ex-girlfriend still asks them questions about me.
This is what it’s called because of the news of a drop, broken move on one. Yes, I admit that I am weak, given an update on the news. I just remember what we used to be, even though she has also changed her partners many times.
At Last, I am Free
Fortunately, after graduating from high school I went to college in a completely new environment. New friends, new activities, and new life goals slowly helped me to be free from the of ex-girlfriend memories. At least now, I think it will not take a long time to move on anymore now.
In the beginning, what was my purpose in life was only to “make the ex-girlfriend regret”. At least in the new place I wanted to make myself not regret because I wasted a lot of opportunities to study and develop on campus.
Because of a lot of activities and being busy staying up late, the task made me not have much time for nostalgia, let alone bringing up the sense of what was being gone.
In the first year of college, I felt I could really move on, I couldn’t be afraid anymore if I heard about her from friends, I wasn’t afraid anymore if her updated status on social media accidentally passed on the timeline, and was ready to give congratulations on her marriage (even though I wasn’t invited in the end, haha).
If someone says that the best way to move on is to keep busy, for me, it can be true, and it can’t. It can be true that busyness is really a heart call, and we enjoy it.
It can be wrong if we make the mistake to trick ourselves, as I did in high school which instead of making a move on actually made me think more about how to let the ex-girlfriend regret it.
Well now, what can you say? Do you agree with me that we need take a long time to move on or do you not?
